Marriage is both a challenging and rewarding part of life, but what is it like when you get married as a young adult? What can you expect when you finally tie the knot and settle down? How do you take this single-player game of life and make it a co-op?
Being married is drastically different than being single. This sounds like a given, but I wasn’t fully aware of how much would change when I got married. Many of my habits, daily rituals, and responsibilities all changed. What I was doing as a single bachelor, living with another single bachelor for a roommate, wasn’t going to cut it anymore. Go figure.
Now, I will be the first to admit that I am a bit lazy when it comes to cleaning. I hate it with a passion- however, the first major issue between my wife and I was cleaning. She loves a clean and neat looking space, and I was very indifferent about it. It became very clear very quickly that I couldn’t procrastinate on cleaning like I used to.
The changing of daily rituals, at least in the beginning, is inevitable. Before marriage, I would get up early and go to work, then come home and play Xbox or read. There would be an occasional meal break thrown in among those things. Now when I get home, my wife and I talk about our day and what we have to do that evening. We go do errands, grab some dinner, then go home to watch Netflix or Disney+. Nowhere in that list did you see Xbox or reading. Not that I don’t still enjoy those things or still do them, I just had to cut back on them to make time for my commitment as a husband.
The most important thing I can stress is that you and your partner are a team. It is no longer you and them. It is the two of you as one. The decisions you make and the money you spend should be talked about together. No more shopping sprees or buying video games without talking to your partner first. When you’re married, your money isn’t just your money, it is both of yours as a household, and the spending should be discussed as a household. Your partner is also the biggest part of your support system. You both should be encouraging each other to meet goals and helping each other if there is a problem. Good support systems can go a long way.
Make sure that you both find your own hobbies. This is important for your own state of mind and the state of your marriage. If you are around your partner every hour of every day you aren’t getting that “me time” everyone needs. You ever hear the phrase, “absence makes the heart grow fonder?” From personal experience, I can say that it’s true. There have been times where my wife and I have been so busy that when we finally get a break all I want to do is be with her.
Being married as young adults may fill up your schedules and cause you and your spouse to fall into a rut. When your busy schedule finally opens up, be sure to use that time to experience life with your partner. Going on adventures as a couple is a great way to connect with each other and get out of a mundane routine. Anything from day trips to full-week excursions will do you and your partner good. Travel the country or even go to another country. Eat exotic food and try new things. You’ll be able to share these experiences together and look back on the fun adventures you had as a couple.
Marriage is hard but worth the work you put into it. It can be scary and intimidating, especially if you’re young. Having someone you can share your life with is, in my opinion, one of the best ways to go through life.
Let me know in the comments below what you and your spouse like to do together!